Others

If my children are grown and they value and respect themselves and others I will feel accomplished. Respect of themselves and others means that they value people and are considerate of what the end result will look like for all. That does not mean that, they will be perfect. On the contrary, the more imperfect they are the better. How much more can someone who has flaws and is willing to share them for the good of others relate to them who need relating to, than someone who is as flawed, as we all are, and instead judges to try and make perfect. The point is; I want to raise my children with love, not judgement and condemnation, I believe that if a child and an adult for that matter always feels like they are enough they will strive to be better.

Early morning

Since about 3:40 this morning I have been rambling on and on with the Lord. You know those mornings where there is so much to say but none ever to specific. Yeah, that's me today. I know its the end of the week and am not really sure that I feel accomplished in all that should have been done which calls for a busy and productive day for my munchkins... glad they understand and really try hard to help out with the little guy.

One child

I have shared in my blog that my last son Lathan has been a trying experience for me in motherhood. I have also shared that it is not him at all, only my laziness to follow through. Anyhow as the situation still remains the same, with tweaks coming in quickly, I am grateful that there have been constants to my journey in being a Mama; my other four have been trained well to respect themselves and in turn others. Just recently, going through an ordeal that left me with an unsettling feeling, gave me real perspective on how I am going about training up Lathan and allowing my other munchkins to witness it. Souriya and I were separated. It was a large group and communication was not great. Long story short I now know what moms mean when they say "I have X number of children including my husband". One disobedient child can throw a mom in a wreck if she has no control over. Talk about wanting to pull your hair out. That evening alone was enough to give me a good picture of what I don't want to deal with regularly, but it has been little events that have occurred lately to drive me to get into the right gear.

New Journey

I have been really excited about being conscience with my choice to take a look in a literal mirror and make some changes. The decision to make changes came after coming across a beautiful product, (twice) called Isagenix. Ever since I found out that I was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver at the age of 24, my best friend is always looking for "something" that will keep me well. In her gifts to me she had once given me a bottle of Cleanse for Life. I was unaware, as I was everything else that she gifted me with, as to what this product was supposed to do exactly. I took it... occasionally.  When it was gone, I really didn't think about it again. Until I was taking care of a Mary Kay Sister consultant's (who lives out east) Sister-in-law here in Colorado. She shared Isagenix with me and I can not thank her enough. She might not have thought so considering I called her close to two months after we had met and while leaving her the 1st time I said, "Thank you for the information, I'll get back to you". You see just shortly after I had left her, my body started to remind me of how I felt when I was going through some tough days with the Cirrhosis. I remembered her and called her to come over and share with me the product again. She was excited about the weight loss, I wanted to sleep better. The product is food and great food at that. I began with the 9day nutritional cleanse and could not believe how well in three days I was sleeping and overall health that I was feeling. My eyes were also in disbelief because the weight that fell away in those short 11days were nothing short of amazing, the icing on the cake if you will. Looking further into the product, I decided to get my husband some as well as my munchkins, again its just food... but better, because its the stuff you are not getting that you should when you do eat... food!

Regular banter

I made comments that were taken in offense. Only, I was responding in banter. It seems an element was missing from a regular setting of friends. At the end of the evening it was asked of me "What's wrong?", in confusion, I answered that I was fine, but the truth is each time I was accused of being mean I was thinking to myself, "Is that a joke, or did I really say something to bother you?", this to someone who is more than fluid with their own bag of comical remarks. I became indifferent and closed off when it was said, "I'm really tired of you", I was taken back at this point and concluded that I did indeed offend a person very important to me and my family. I was a bit quite with the occasional wisecrack the remainder of the evening and tried to evaluate the situation to see where exactly the root of the problem was, but none of that matters at this point. What does matter is; from one friend to another, I am sorry.