Grandpa's exit

It was today that that my grandpa breathed his last. As far back as I can say I know my family tree personally, Grandpa goes at the top. I was glad that all his children were there in his last days, even Mom was able to get out there in time to have one more goodbye. Being with my aunts and uncle during this time of loss will be very hard and I hope good for the beginning days of healing. I love and take great joy in the value this man holds to our family. Many memories of Grandpa will be cherished always by his children, and his grandchildren, especially my brother Jason and our cousin Rustin.Those two had the privilege of growing up with Grandpa as "Dad" as well. Their hearts break tonight and I pray, -Lord comfort us who are still here on earth, may we remember the constant we saw him as and be that for one another. May his great grandchildren remember too what they know of him and love the stories they will hear for time to come.

Distant

My oldest three munchkins have headed out to visit with family and my heart is the least heavy it has ever been during this space of time. I am actually excited about this visit. It could be because of a new addition or maybe because they are older. It could be because I am growing more mature in my relationship with God and understand that my kiddos are his before they are mine. Perhaps its having a confident peace in who my God says he Is.

Play on the floor with them

I love how a child appreciates it when we get down on their level and play with them. I was reminded this Sunday when rolling around with Lathan, watching Levi and Luke play chess Indian style, sewing a Barbie dress with Souriya and seeing Lance put together some new creation with Legos. They look at you differently. This is a place I know I earn their respect, allowing them to tower over me every once in a while.

Do not yell

I have agreed to do 10 push ups each time I yell. My son Luke was sharing this with my sister and she asked, "What does she do when you let her know she needs to do 10 push ups?" Luke answered her, "She just calms down and says she will get them done." I am glad of my 8 yr old's perspective. I am glad he feels comfortable holding me accountable to my word and believes I will follow through. I hope this is due to past experience with me. Yelling, I think used to be my regular volume when talking. My growth has come with each new child's birth. What I try to remember most when yelling is how out of control I feel. How many times I have been told, "You give the person, or situation that control over you when you yell, and how do you even hear yourself think." Do my children really offend me, absolutely not. If I get angry it is at my lack of consistency. And consistency is the secret to my children's success!

Kindergarten Confidential

@ ABC Nightline and all viewer of tonight's airing ---Yes this is a good thing, educate and test your child's abilities! Yes at 4 years old, when would you like to start? No you are not stealing their childhood, all playtime should be constructive. Do not spend $1,000s that is, (in my humble opinion), ridiculous! ( I don't know that the exclamation works with humility... I'm not changing it. This is your munchkin take time in daily life to give him/her more common sense than you have and more knowledge than you got. YES they are absolutely worth it!

Rough blog I know, but had to get it out of my head before I let it go and said nothing. Thanks for reading. Please, please, please leave any comments you like.