Grandpa's exit

It was today that that my grandpa breathed his last. As far back as I can say I know my family tree personally, Grandpa goes at the top. I was glad that all his children were there in his last days, even Mom was able to get out there in time to have one more goodbye. Being with my aunts and uncle during this time of loss will be very hard and I hope good for the beginning days of healing. I love and take great joy in the value this man holds to our family. Many memories of Grandpa will be cherished always by his children, and his grandchildren, especially my brother Jason and our cousin Rustin.Those two had the privilege of growing up with Grandpa as "Dad" as well. Their hearts break tonight and I pray, -Lord comfort us who are still here on earth, may we remember the constant we saw him as and be that for one another. May his great grandchildren remember too what they know of him and love the stories they will hear for time to come.

Distant

My oldest three munchkins have headed out to visit with family and my heart is the least heavy it has ever been during this space of time. I am actually excited about this visit. It could be because of a new addition or maybe because they are older. It could be because I am growing more mature in my relationship with God and understand that my kiddos are his before they are mine. Perhaps its having a confident peace in who my God says he Is.

Tragic event in Colordao

When an event happens that needs explaining with cautious words to my children I dig deeper with God and pray for the right words to help them understand the situation, and the ugliness that has occurred. When hearing what experts are suggesting you tell your munchkins is well and good, (to reassure them that they are safe and their family is safe), it in my opinion does not give them a solid peace or real peace. That comes from the Prince of  Peace, Christ Jesus. I am their protector as mama bear, and it is my job to keep them safe as they understand well, however I am not the end all and be all. That position is God's alone. So for me its about helping them build an even stronger relationship with the Holy Spirit. This confidence in their Savior will allow them to endure all things.

Play on the floor with them

I love how a child appreciates it when we get down on their level and play with them. I was reminded this Sunday when rolling around with Lathan, watching Levi and Luke play chess Indian style, sewing a Barbie dress with Souriya and seeing Lance put together some new creation with Legos. They look at you differently. This is a place I know I earn their respect, allowing them to tower over me every once in a while.

Do not yell

I have agreed to do 10 push ups each time I yell. My son Luke was sharing this with my sister and she asked, "What does she do when you let her know she needs to do 10 push ups?" Luke answered her, "She just calms down and says she will get them done." I am glad of my 8 yr old's perspective. I am glad he feels comfortable holding me accountable to my word and believes I will follow through. I hope this is due to past experience with me. Yelling, I think used to be my regular volume when talking. My growth has come with each new child's birth. What I try to remember most when yelling is how out of control I feel. How many times I have been told, "You give the person, or situation that control over you when you yell, and how do you even hear yourself think." Do my children really offend me, absolutely not. If I get angry it is at my lack of consistency. And consistency is the secret to my children's success!

Kindergarten Confidential

@ ABC Nightline and all viewer of tonight's airing ---Yes this is a good thing, educate and test your child's abilities! Yes at 4 years old, when would you like to start? No you are not stealing their childhood, all playtime should be constructive. Do not spend $1,000s that is, (in my humble opinion), ridiculous! ( I don't know that the exclamation works with humility... I'm not changing it. This is your munchkin take time in daily life to give him/her more common sense than you have and more knowledge than you got. YES they are absolutely worth it!

Rough blog I know, but had to get it out of my head before I let it go and said nothing. Thanks for reading. Please, please, please leave any comments you like.

Remain Calm

There are times to get excited and leave calm to the way side, its just not when you have yet to evaluate the situation and start instead to let your tongue fly. I have those experiences where I have done just that and for the most part I can catch myself in the middle of my rampage and correct the situation. First by acknowledging that I need to get it together in my head and take measure. Second to apologize to my munchkins, it is wrong to jump them for something that truly is my fault or responsibility.  When I say apologize I mean to actually tell them "Mom is wrong, I should not have yelled at you and used  my tongue foolishly. Yes, we are a team and we are supposed to work together, but I am responsible for the end result" Yes I actually say these words to my children. Why, because its important to respect them on that level for so many reasons.

Determined

Souriya skated her first practice in sometime just last night. The skates were enormous on her and she did not care. I asked if she wanted to sit out and we would get skates that did fit soon enough, she looked at me and said, " Mom, please let me skate". Ugh! Fine, so she did, wearing her shoes inside the even still big skates she did well. They had scrimmage practice last night with Castle Rock and she was a jammer a couple of times, how elated I was to see her go round all the derby girls once to be able to make points and around again to score five of them. Fine Souriya, you get out there and skate.

Tantrum

Levi and I went skating this week, as well as my other munchkins, but from the minute we exited the vehicle Levi and I became inseparable for at least an hour. My son had in-lines on and is more familiar with quads so he was uncomfortable. I would have been completely alright with him needing additional attention but a tantrum was the last thing that I was going to accept. Please believe that training a child to have self-control is a must. I needed to get on helping Levi gain a lot of it now. The only words that came out of his mouth for that first 30 minutes were, "It's hard, I want to take these off, ow" as he cried and cried. I can not imagine what I looked like to any onlookers, maybe Carle can give a perspective, but I gave Levi the command not to talk and only focus on the standing up on his skates, it took many falls and tears before he knew he was not going to win. I could have given in and said, "Fine, Levi you win. Take your skates off and don't move". I could have, but who does that benefit? Not him or me. It only sets us up for another tantrum when he doesn't want "whatever". My goal is not to raise a punk.  So, we stayed out on the floor making him stand up only to fall because he was so focused on throwing a fit that trying to stand up was not even a thought. As I said it was a rough hour on the skating floor but when he finally knew that Mom was staying out here until he got it, he got it- self-control. He used it to win the battle of I can't and showed himself he could and did. He skated around and around all by himself with pride, that he could. Was my secluded time just for him worth it? Without a doubt. Many thanks to my daughter Souriya for loving on Lathan while I tended to Levi.

Jury Duty

I was summoned to attend court yesterday for jury duty and bummed that I was not randomly picked for any of the panels. This is one of the great ways that the US of A is still considered a democracy. I know from sitting in a room full of jurors that not really anyone wanted to be there. Granted it seems to be the general opinion that it really sucked to be summoned. It was a great sign of appreciation from the courts to take the time to address the specific questions in the audience with an overall video and judge who explained the details of what goes on to get through the process. I hoped of course that it gave many a new perspective of what an honor it is to be there, but no one seemed changed. I guess for me the bottom line is, I would want to have my many fellow citizens from all walks of life with different perspectives to listen to my side and deliberate, rather than have an individual (The Judge) who at some point I'm sure gets tunnel vision in that chair, decide the outcome.

Do not touch PART 1

Talking with one of my girlfriends this past weekend she shared a story about her little girl allowing herself into Mom's purse. It was field trip day and Mom signed the slip and placed some money into the envelope for spending and the rest she threw back into her purse. Well, it seems her daughter cared for more than what was given. The next day when my girlfriend went to go spend the money she threw back into her purse it was no longer there. She knew, after thinking about it, there was really only one culprit. Waiting for the day to end and picking her little girl up from school they seemed to have regular conversation when Mom prompted her to see her reaction. "Baby, Mommy went to eat some lunch today and couldn't find the money that was in her purse." Immediately  her daughter chimed in and said that it was her who took the money and it was under the couch. At this point Mom praised her on not lying and then discussed the importance of not touching what was hers. There was a warning as well to the her daughter that should she touch what was not hers in the future, lie or not, she would be grounded.

Getting it together

Sarina looks at me in awe, though she tries to conceal her amazement at my reactions to Lathan. I laugh because that's what I do, how I handle all my situations. If I am angry and have no resolution for my problem I laugh. So the same goes for Lathan, I laugh at my neglect to train him to obey. Hence, the markings on my desk, the bingo dobber spots on my daughters floor, the spills of water regularly because he lacks the same discipline the others have. This is the child that has all my girlfriends laughing at me. "Oh, Angelina, this is too good". Actually its not, but I can see now where they are coming from, any mom who has said, "I need a break". The truth is I just need to stay on it.

What do you do with the little guy?

I was asked just recently what Lathan does while I am homeschooling the other three. I have posted a little clip of one of his activities. To be honest I had forgotten all together how to parent over the summer. Not sure if it was knowing that Lathan is most likely my last little guy or just laziness. It is important to say that having stayed on top of Souriya all her life has only blessed me immensely. Granted, she is not perfect, but boy do I appreciate the perspective she grew up with. Here I am implementing all the simple strategies like Schedule, CONSISTENCY of what is Expected and Accepted, and Teaching Self-Discipline, while receiving great results!

A special Thank you goes out to my best friend Sarina, for being my CONSTANT reminder, I love you.   

Study Island

This page still comes in handy, even if just for teaching my own kiddos. Luke is spending some time on Study Island and needs to understand how and where to gather information. Being here helps him see that the Internet is changing all the time and everyone is able to access it. The point of this blog post is to show him how fast information is added and can be deleted. This allows him to see the change and grab hold of the concept.
-Thanks