Own up

When I do something wrong, it is rare that I am quick to jump to my consequences. Who is though? I believe everyone takes pause. And in that pause so very much goes through my mind. All the reasons why what I did was ok, and how I can justify it. So when in a situation with my munchkins I try to train their thought process to get down to real bottom line. Believe it, if you do not make a point to train yourself to do otherwise you will naturally justify your actions, even if its just a little, you will try and justify. There in lies the problem. So what I tell myself, what I tell my munchkins is; ask yourself what all occurred, not just what happen to you, instead find "your" true error. Then let me know what we need to work out, and we do. This is where I hope I am teaching them self-accountability. It is not what happen to them that puts them in the real situation of jeopardizing their character, its their actions thereafter. 

The 12 pack factor

A favorite person of mine dubbed the phrase "the 12 pack factor" due to a different view point than another. When in business for yourself but with others you rely on people in your field. To show his appreciation, once a month he would grab a case and take it to a business that he worked with on a regular basis. This is something he and his employees would split the cost on. One day one of his employees decided to voice how he did not believe he should share in the cost of the case, for one he did not drink the beer and another, its like paying them, he didn't think it was fair. Well without too much to say in response, our employer in this case no longer included him in the cost, he also no longer valued this employee. The employee did not understand the importance of "the 12 pack factor". What the employee neglected to realize is that is was not payment for anything it was appreciation for everything they provided. Our employer was grateful for the relationship.  I find joy in letting people know I appreciate them but now a bigger grin will cross my face when I think of "the 12 pack factor".

What do you do for a living?

Occasionally I try to take an account of my day literally to see where I was productive and where I was lazy. The reason for this is because when we see our children behaving in a manner we find inappropriate it is frustrating, and more than likely it is what they witness in the home that guides them. My primary job, career, responsibility in life is to train up my children in the way that they should go. My pay day comes regularly, it is the honor and obedience I receive from my children, the appreciation from my husband, smooth days in and outside my house, a comment from another who sees the joy and order we have as a family, the list goes on. Because this is my primary in life its not just being an example, its taking the time to correct them when and wherever there is an occurrence, praising them regularly, holding them accountable, and knowing who they are. For all of this I am more than grateful to my husband who allows me this privileged position.

Consequence

My son Luke believes he will be able to do whatever he wants when he grows up with no consequence. What I have explained to him is, that every action has it's effects. I live an open life to show my children real life consequence; discipline or reward, this allows me to give them examples of our family's choices and the results of them. When we choose good over bad our hearts are joyful not anxious and in fear. I believe I have showed Luke right from wrong time over that if I should slack and miss an opportunity to train, he knows well enough when his heart is bothered because of a poor decision. My munchkins know  to always pray when their hearts are heavy, ask forgiveness, give it to God and move on. I hope after discussing this with him now and as an ongoing conversation throughout his life, he grows into a mature and awesome adult, who understands that all his choices will have consequence.

Partner up

Everywhere we go my children partner up. Its imperative. While at one of our Colorado events I was able to give my children a real life example of what can happen when we are not accountable to one another. A mother with tears rolling down her face was standing with an officer and my heart went out. After saying a quick prayer I showed my munchkins the woman and explained to them what she was asking the officer to help her with. She had lost one of her little guys. This a real situation that could happen to anyone, I explained. Right now a child is lost, he might be having a blast and not realize he has been separated yet, he might be scared, or confused, or some idiot may have decided he wanted him for himself, the point is the mother is a wreck and she no doubt feels at fault. It is an awful feeling every mother feels when something they know they are responsible for goes wrong. So I share all of this with my munchkins because it is that important for them to know the real consequences on both sides when we are not accountable.