Stay steady

Basic tip, I know, but the truth is, what we consider no brainers are what we need reminded of regularly. How much water do you drink daily, yet it should be the one thing we don't have to think about or convince ourselves to take care of. I have this simple issue with my daughter, Souriya. I know that as she matures I feel like there are things that I no longer need to remind her of; wash behind your ears, pour the laundry soap while the water runs, then add the clothes, keep your books in order, that you will know what subject is where, ect. That is not the way it should be. Just like me, and all that I need reminded of regularly, like drink water, I should have no problem setting her up with. It should be counted as joy to remind her while I still have the opportunity. I know the day is not far off that I can only hope she hears my voice ringing in her ear.

My Life in a nutshell

For those that know me, and would like to leave a comment please, fill in the blanks or make any observation you like.

I was born in California

Moved to New York when I was 6

Here in Colorado, 1991

We were going to Alaska

But…

My older brother said “no”

My Mom had a wander lust

Back to California with my Dad at 13

Not long after…

Here in Colorado again

High School incomplete

Back to California with my oldest brother

            Alas I now live in Colorado

No, I’m kidding I love this place!

I am starting a new page that I will post to occasionally-check it out off to the right of my blog.

Difficult character buliding

I love to see the joy on my children's faces. You know the look I am talking about. Opening a gift they were sure they might not get, receiving candy out of the blue, buying a new outfit with a favorite character on it, oh the list can keep going, and it does. So when one of the simple things need to be taken in order for your little guy to get the picture, it is gut wrenching. At least for me it is. Lance is favored wherever we go, and whatever we do, but I wasn't seeing the appreciation for it, from him. So the other evening while enjoying a dessert that Uncle Steve had given him, he made a bit of a mess on his face, actually, just picture chocolate all over a 8 years old's mouth, chin, cheeks and hands. Ok, so now you have a visual. I looked at him and said, " Lance you are 8, you are very aware of where your food goes, because you seem to be having difficulty cleaning your face when you know that you are a mess I want you to make a decision. The next time there is a treat to be had, deny yourself. My hope is that you realize that it is a privilege to enjoy a treat." Well that day came pretty quick. We just enjoyed Cheesecake and Lance said " I won't be having any of that". My heart sank. Oh, yeah, I forgot Lance, thank-you for honoring me, thank you for having self discipline". I wanted to say, " You know what Lance, you were honest and for that I am going to allow you to have some". That would not have helped him. The reason for self-discipline here was not to be honest but appreciative. Oh, it was hard, it really was but, this lesson will go with him. This lesson will enrich his decisions for the best.

Resurrection

Luke 24:1
Jesus, came to destroy death!
After Jesus rose from the dead, he had many conversations with his disciples. Read them, they are for us, the people of the resurrection. I am a woman of the resurrection. Breath in and out the conversations of new life given to you, the Holy Spirit. I no longer live but Christ lives in me.
What begins in the Spirit, can end in the flesh. This is because somewhere along the way I have lost my awe of him. I don't want to allow the passion to die, I never want to forget there is always more of Him. I want to know Christ, the power of the resurrection, and fellowship in his sufferings. when Paul caught that; all of me, for all of you, it was on!
Romans 8:10-11
You die, his spirit then gives life to your mortal body.
Breath in and out. Take in the Spirit. Breath Him out into the world, salt and light.
No power of man, no scheme of hell can stop the power of Christ, death is destroyed!
If we will just get our hands in the dirt, we can make a difference here in Colorado Springs in 2011. The power of Christ lives in us, we are people of the resurrection.
There is a hole in each of us that only Christ can fill, we were created by him to need him.

HIGH low

There is a game we play here in our home called, HIGH low. We play this game to get a feel of how the kids' day went. It teaches them etiquette at the table. My munchkins see how important they feel when all eyes are on them, its not just Mama says to listen, they see themselves how treating others the way you want to be treated works. The way we play is to go around the dinner table and allow each munchkin to share with us their high experience in the day and their low experience. Some days are real simple, and the dinner table stays quiet. Some days are stories from the heart, there might be a confession, or an apology to someone, yep including Mom and Dad. During these stories we might see how grateful our little guys are for something we didn't realize they even noticed. HIGH low was a game we picked up from a movie, and has been a blessing in disguise.  

Pull Over

Take care of all sour situations as they occur & you will have less of them. Luke and Levi are sometimes easily frustrated. When a situation arises that becomes whining and complaining that I address, next time isn't square one, it's just a reminder of the last situation & how it played out.
A light bulb goes on.
With a smile the words, "Oh, yeah" come out of their mouth.
For example, we were driving home and Levi wanted to take off his jacket, he was having trouble, he began to get upset. I could hear his fit, and immediately pulled over right out of traffic. Turned around and explained to him that he would never get his jacket off with that attitude. I also explained to him why; his energy was being consumed by anger. So for the next 5 minutes we stayed parked in a lot, calmed down & gained our self-control. He figured out how to take off his jacket. His attitude went from awful to fantastic, partially because I gave him the command to make the choice and change it,  the other part because HE witnessed for himself that calming down and using his energy to remove his jacket was much better than being angry and getting nowhere. Next time he gets frustrated, be it putting his laundry away, trying to fit all the books on the shelf, or whatever, I will remind him of his jacket and I already know what response to expect. It's Wonderful!

Consistency 2

 

Improving your day with your munchkin

Consistency 2

Another Thursday

Today is that day during the week that it is just Lathan and I. I love this one on one that I am able to spend with him, I am grateful for it. It allows me to increase his ability to communicate without being called to another task, where I am needed with my other guys. Our signing is coming along wonderfully as well as potty training. This is where more time at home is required. I do not mind that at all. So here's to "Thursday"!

A good authority for a childs good future

I receive obedience from my children because I am their authority. When I give a command I expect a response that suits the command. When it is less than what I anticipated, we asses the issue take care of it, and move forward. I love that we can move forward without icky attitudes. In our home it is important to me to help all of my children know that with the attitude they choose to behave with, they effect their atmosphere. I want them to know that they have the power to lighten a load, make a day joyful, help someone else see the silver lining, but only if they see if first. I can only teach them this if I can show them first hand results, a life they live. So showing them that a fight against good authority just to have their way only brings them down, and holds up life. They must choose to have a joyful heart and do all things without whining or complaining.

Tough

My children and I have had a rough day. Staying on task can be trying when you have 5 different personalities and you try to accommodate each one. When I find myself looking to be my babies friend and parent, I find myself falling off track, away from my responsibilities. I know that our future and their success will allow the friendship to blossom because of the parent I am in the present. I do let this fact fall to the way side occasionally for lots of reasons, one is because of the fun we have when we let loose. Who doesn't like to laugh a little longer with their child, but the truth is I need to remember who I am to them. I want them to know that I am the one who sets the safety zone, I show them what is right and wrong, I hold them accountable to their actions, I expect nothing less than the best. The friendship that we will have because of the life I set them up for will fall into place... I only need be reminded sometimes.

We are always busy

So much going on around the house, finishing the school year, potty training, reorganizing for Spring, remolding here and there, trips out of town, now and up coming, and so much more. Summer is on its way, right? Yes, but no, that is not why there is so much going on. There is always this much going on, I only notice when I am behind. Yep, behind. There are many things that are done outside of taking care of my husband, children, and home. Right now in particular I am in a race against time to complete more than I am prepared for. I have a business, and in that business I have learned that the best way to win or get it done is to be prepared. So today I will be evaluating my current schedule and realigning items in my day to better be prepared for a great finish on tasks that will all be completed.

Missing in action MIA

The last few days in our home has been a little more than chaotic for us. I know some would tell me that I am exaggerating but compared to our regular routine it has been crazy. Lathan sleeping in his own bed has been the cake of it all. I also started to train him in using the restroom, so done with diapers except for at night.

Kerplunk!

Last night Lathan fell out of bed. So he spent the remainder of our sleep time with us. This is very unusual. It does happen occasionally. The reason that I avoid this route of consoling him is because I don't want to encourage this as the regular routine. Tonight will let me know if I have created a problem for myself. If I have then it sounds like I will sleep a little less than regular for about three days getting him back into bed and staying there.

Don't talk back

I find that with Levi, my 4yr old, I am correcting his behavior in talking back more often than I have ever corrected any one of my other guys. The reason for this is because I allowed him to talk back at an early age and did not regard it as bad behavior. Levi is a darling, really he is, however darling is not going to get him a great job where he can succeed and prosper. His personality is through the roof boisterous, no doubt. It is when that personality decides that he is right you are wrong, or his course of action is better than yours that the great personality turns ugly. He is a child, who of course wants his way, and has managed to make that happen more often than I would like to admit. I am seeing now in his defiance at my commands that if a new behavior in obedience is not established he will be manipulative, and abusive to his own satisfaction as an adult. Being aware of this makes me more than accountable. I have made a point to cut this action off immediately each time he talks back. Now, when he decides to oppose my command, I tell him to stop talking and obey. Mind you, he does try to override the command. It is up to me to remain calm, (I have trained him to talk back, it's not like I should be surprised or upset that he is not listening the first time, YET), and repeat myself with a pop in his hand until the command is obeyed. Because there is no anger and I am consistent he eventually, lets up and go of the excuses, and follows through on the command. This always proves for a better day, especially, because my kiddos see that I look out for them, and what is best for us as a family. Oh, how that plays a huge role in our home.

Off Limits

Now that Lathan is walking and taking a regular tour of his home. I am taken back to the very days that we needed to train Souriya, in areas she was allowed to be in. This began in our home of course where the kitchen and the bathroom were off limits. Even at the skating rink Bosanova, we needed to make sure she didn't travel out the front door or into the snack bar area. Ten years today, I am training Lathan not to go down the hallway, onto the entry way tile, pass the kitchen into the laundry room, or outside without a hand. I simply pop his thigh when he crosses a boundary, tell him no and send him in the right direction. It always is so amazing to see their minds start to work when they hit that borderline and ask themselves, "Is it worth it?" Well the truth is yes, for a few times it is. Honestly they look forward to seeing you be consistent. Are you really watching me, Mom? I like our rule, " One toy at a time". If I let Lathan take that regular tour, the kids remind me about our house rule. They are referring to all of the toys throughout the house that Lathan drops off after he is bored with them. Showing him areas he is off limits too helps me respect my children and follow through on the rules that have been set. Lathan has his allotted toys in the living room where I can see him, and he is expected to respect the rule too by staying in the area allowed and playing happily.

Sweet sleep

This is so sweet! Today was a perfect Sunday. Enjoyed the early Service, and purchased a new mattress! I know right, how exciting is that?! Except the mattress that we purchased was for Lathan, my 15 month old. Yes, tonight is his first night in his own "big boy" bed. My husband and I made a small wager as to, if he would stay in bed and not test the waters of having no walls to keep him in one place well, I won. I have never been one to pick up my little guys once I have laid them down for sleep. He is well aware of what bedtime means so, I am so excited to say that Lathan is enjoying that sweet sleep and never left the bed, not once.

Thank you God!

It is very important that my children know where there strength comes from, the real stuff that they can keep calling on and doesn't end. God! I always teach them to talk with him early on, like, from birth. I want them to know that he is Real, Good, and looking out for them. Some might call it your conscience, I call him the Holy Spirit. I was finishing up dishes today while Levi, my 3 year old, was trying to perfect his penmanship with numbers. He was trying hard to make that 3 look good, and kept asking me to help him. I would stop dishes and come his way to help. After a back and forth from dishes to him more than a few times I asked God if I could get these dishes done, no more than a minute later Levi belts out " Thank you, God!".  "Mom, I asked God to help me and he did, so now you don't have to he finishes my way. An answer to both of our prayers. Dishes done.

Sit still in motion

Yesterday was Thursday, this is the day in the week that all minus one child goes with Aunt Sarina. I wanted to take care of my nails before too long had passed since my last rebase. Off to Mystic Nails with my tech Snow I went. I had Lathan with me and I wondered how well he was going to behave. There was a woman who was sitting next to me who was just about finished who seemed very interested to see me with Lathan on my lap, as she commented "He's a cutie", then continued to watch. Then a couple of ladies walked in just after me and were getting pedicures across the way as they conversed and would take a look every once in while to see how Lathan was behaving too. After a bit a new woman was sitting next to me to have her nails taken care of and said to me how well behaved my guy was just sitting there enjoying his view, not touching anything. The best was, the two ladies who were there with me the entire time. One had said to the other, "Have you seen this little one this whole time he has been so good.", "Yes, I have.", she replied. I shared with them that I was diligent about training before today in hopes that when wanted or needed  I would be able to enjoy these results. Thank you Lathan. 

Simple, but great!

I really really appreciate my great days. Today we were up and moving around 6:45, that was a little later than I should of. We ran a few errands early and then met Sarina for breakfast. Had a girlfriend say hello as she was passing through town, (beep, beep), and went shopping. My kids love grocery shopping. They look forward to heading to Costco, where if no one is in the isle with us, they run to gather speed and slide to the end, and Wholefoods, where they love all the treats that are available throughout the store. They help unload it all from the car to the house and then put it all away, including Lathan, he likes to collect all the bags. Filled in the rest of the day with school work, WII and outside playtime, as well as help and time from my big brothers, Oh and not to forget... Survivor! Lathan fell asleep very early today and so when bed time came for the others, my request to respect Lathan sleeping made for silence. It was like they were already in bed while they brushed their teeth, washed up and put their PJ's on. Simple, I know, but it makes for a really great day!

Results

My morning has been fantastic due to a wonderful training session that endured outside the Western Omelette. Lathan watched our server lay all the food on the table, you could see his excitement, considering he really had not eaten any full meals in the past few days. I thought for sure that he was ready to speak to us. Nope, as soon as I asked him if was hungry or if he wanted to eat, sparks flew. I know none of us go out to eat and pay to listen to a mother train her child while he rages for victory, so, Lathan and I left. I do not think that I would have entered the situation had I not been with my best friend. Sarina stayed inside with my other munchkins while I went to the van with a bowl of pancakes and eggs. We sat in the van and I would ask him to sign eat, "No" he would hollar back, by shaking his head and yelling.  It was probably 40 min with just Lathan and I, then a total of almost two hours before we left the parking lot. Today he will sign with no issue, however there is still so much more to work on. I love him and the victory we have together for better days ahead.

Headache

I received a horrible headache yesterday and am still trying to shake it. Today I am moving around and making my Monday happen but very slowly. My kids are always more than well behaved when I am not feeling a hundred percent, and I am so thankful for it. Souriya has always been my helper and looks forward to anytime she can really be hands on, especially making sandwiches, setting the table, and cleaning up. Lance is pretty self sufficient, he loves having a checklist though. Luke and Levi are real buddies, so quiet (shh, mom is not feeling great) organized (lets just stay here in this area) playtime seems to be the norm when I am not up about and all around. Lathan well, he'll hang out primarily with me and then a bit with Souriya. My oldest has of course the most responsibility and I am glad she sees it as a treat, most of the time.

Consistency

Improving your day with your munchkins

Consistency

A listening ear

When I talk to my friend, I am not looking to her for a solution. I really just want my voice to be heard without judgement. We are all familiar with wanting to vent. It is not always easy to vent to our husbands because they tend to feel like we are nagging and want them to "fix" it, just in case that is not the case with anyone else I'll speak for myself. So having a healthy circle of girlfriends has been a constant for me. Anyway, I had a conversation that has played out over the past few days regarding what was expected when we vent to one another.
1. Let us speak until we are done, unless...
2. We need a reality check, then...
3. Cut us off immediately and...
4. Show us the picture, standing from outside the circle, otherwise...
5. Just listen, we don't have to agree and we are allowed to give our perspective, but ultimately loving one another unconditionally is what the other is looking for. All of our flaws, and weaknesses too. Excepting each other for who we are, we need a healthy circle of friends we can rely on, yep, rely on to be our listening ear.