Difficult character buliding

I love to see the joy on my children's faces. You know the look I am talking about. Opening a gift they were sure they might not get, receiving candy out of the blue, buying a new outfit with a favorite character on it, oh the list can keep going, and it does. So when one of the simple things need to be taken in order for your little guy to get the picture, it is gut wrenching. At least for me it is. Lance is favored wherever we go, and whatever we do, but I wasn't seeing the appreciation for it, from him. So the other evening while enjoying a dessert that Uncle Steve had given him, he made a bit of a mess on his face, actually, just picture chocolate all over a 8 years old's mouth, chin, cheeks and hands. Ok, so now you have a visual. I looked at him and said, " Lance you are 8, you are very aware of where your food goes, because you seem to be having difficulty cleaning your face when you know that you are a mess I want you to make a decision. The next time there is a treat to be had, deny yourself. My hope is that you realize that it is a privilege to enjoy a treat." Well that day came pretty quick. We just enjoyed Cheesecake and Lance said " I won't be having any of that". My heart sank. Oh, yeah, I forgot Lance, thank-you for honoring me, thank you for having self discipline". I wanted to say, " You know what Lance, you were honest and for that I am going to allow you to have some". That would not have helped him. The reason for self-discipline here was not to be honest but appreciative. Oh, it was hard, it really was but, this lesson will go with him. This lesson will enrich his decisions for the best.